Fill #3

It's been three weeks since I've been to the doc, longest time in between appointments since this all started back in November. I feel good and have been getting pretty impatient with the wait time but know that I don't have much of a choice at this point. I'm going to try and cheat the two week standard wait time with the next appointment. 
I'm really looking forward to having it all over and done with so I can really move on and adjust more to the new normal.
I have to admit that the more fluid I have added the harder those suckers get. Holy cripes, I was not prepared for that. And while I probably should have stopped at 75 cc I figured the extra 25 wouldn't hurt right? Wrong- I was pretty damn sore tonight.

220 cc's baby

I try not to think about the C word, try to not worry about it coming back - somewhere else. Sometimes I do pretty well - some days not so much. 
It's a scary thing knowing that I got so lucky this time, and what if there is a next time? What if the next time there's not as much luck?

I know the dangers of "what if's" I was pretty good at not playing that game anymore - I try to go with the flow and have more of the "it is what it is" attitude but it's kind of like knowing you were invaded and while I was able to rid myself of this invader this time would I be that lucky if there was a next time?

I try to talk to Pep but he's really at the point of "I'm just glad you're alive and healthy" point. He doesn't think about the possibility, which is a good thing for him and for me as well. He's the positive thinker right now. His positive thinking keeps me grounded.

I am getting used to the thought of what I'll be able to consider normal, and I know that the fear will always be there a little. I think the one that scares me the most is the fact that I have my damn ovaries yet, those little suckers are sneaky.
Hardly any symptoms if something is wrong with them- fatigue, abdominal pains, bloating- um how about every day. How is a lady supposed to know when it's something not normal? I mean I have had those symptoms for the past two decades. 

That's the hell of having fybromyalgia, it includes like every damn symptom for anything that can be wrong with a person...ever.

 It's awesome, completely awesome. But again, I try not to be one that looks a gift horse in the mouth. I dodged a major bullet and need to know and remember that I am a lucky one.
I have an amazing man friend, an amazing family and friends and kids.
All of those far outweigh anything I can complain about.