How About a Real Bra Maybe?

2/17
So I decided to try a real bra- currently I'm still wearing the pull over mastectomy bras I had ordered. 

While I'm getting more used to what I look like, when I do back to the real deal- I am so not normal yet.
I put that real bra on and holy moly was that depressing. My expanders are not intended to be placed in a bra, they are up high and have no movement at all, like none- I really wouldn't need to wear a bra at all, I kind of do out of habit at this point, but I was hoping that I'd be able to wear a real bar.

I kind of wanted to see if i filled it out, if I was getting close to what I had been, but nope- not even close- or at least I can't tell with the way the bra fits.
The expanders are way over to the side towards the armpits more than where they should be.
Doc Gottlieb said that he'd have to do some finetuning, he'd have to get some of the scar tissue out of the way.

The left side - cancerous, traitor boob as I refer to it- i kind of a northwest direction and the right side - is a little lower and again both are too far to the outside.

Not a good look- part of me wants to show Pep - for him to tell me it's ok. But I don't think I'd believe him if he said that.

He keeps telling me he only cares that I'm alive and healthy but there still needs to be some attraction right?
I mean a person can't be repulsed by the person their with. I'm not saying that he wouldn't love me but there's the physical aspect of things as well.
And I'm a physical person.

Oh My Brother!

2/20
So I get a text from my brother- take a look:

Yup that's right- over 17,000 views- how many people know my brother?!?!
Funny how he gets that on the first post surgery selfie - 
His message to me is asking what I can do to top 20,000?
I remind him that I still have one surgery coming up and one never knows about my ovaries yet.